But fuck that! The real fun is the destination: Some Are Camp!

Me, my favorite ex, Seanie, his fab gal pal Arielle, and my two jealous, tragically flawed, but super fun buddies John and Joe arrived on Friday night, set up camp in the ugliest motel room I’ve ever seen, gussied up, went to Safeway, then hit up the RRR in Guerneville for some boozing, cruising and Karaoke. Oh, and because of our belated arrival and dilly dallying, we missed the Maricon-ita drag show by about 20 minutes. Thanks to Kiddie for heading this up. I heard it was amazing!

John, Arielle, Seanie and Joe take in the flavor of the motel room.

Mr. David croons us during karaoke.

The next day we got up, drank a bloody mary breakfast and never looked back. The whole day was filled with sun, fun, boys, girls, mudslides, trannies and of course drag.

Arielle and Seanie drink the breakfast of champions!

Arielle promised to only wear heels all weekend, even in the pool. Hooker realness!

Mutha Chucka's got Rahni in stitches.

Oxana Olsen gives good face!

Vivvy's done with these effen heels.

Vajonna D'Entata is feeling Farrah Fawcetty

Stephen and Terry make nice.

Hoku Mama Swamp and Ambrosia who is apparently in black face. Lay off the bronzer girl!

DJ Dirty Knees had us rockin!

Nikola, Seanie and Arielle

These lovely ladies

We love wet guys: Jonathan and David

Nikola and David get interrupted by Ambrosia.

Honey Mahogany and David Aguilar

Poolside drag anyone? Downey, Hoku, Mutha Chucka, Dam Dyke and Dean Disaster put on a hilarious and inspired poolside drag show. Downey and Hoku’s duet to “Almost Paradise” was a hit, featuring Hoku as one die, and Downey as a domino. Close enough! It’s a touching number where they fall in love and teach each other about life’s pleasures, eating Sun Chips and ribbon dancing.

Hoku and Downey make an entrance.

Twirl bitches, twirl!

Almost Pair of Dice.

Sun Chip Lessons from Downey

Ribbon Dancing Lessons from Hoku

Tender and sweet finish

Dam Dyke makes friends with the ladies!

Dean Disaster trucks it around the pool. She even stopped for a smoke break!

Dean and Dam

Dean eats it.

Chucka rips us a new one!

Then takes a tiny sip.

Then hits the deck.

Saturday night found us entertained by a crazy drag show hosted by Glamamore, titled “Glamamore’s Meager Things and Stuff” which was a sensation! Lady Bunny flew all the way from New York just to entertain us with her bawdy songs filled with poo and dick jokes.

Vivvy giving some Lucille Ball

Chastiti Bell

Honey and Chucka

Glamamore!

Grace looking wicked!

Hoku

Me and Lady Bunny

During the show I was busy taking pics of David Aguilar and his gorgeous boa constrictors. Folks got to pose with them, having first to sign a waiver in case the snake did something unexpected. No one was hurt, but I heard a rumor that I started where a certain someone had to be escorted away from David and the snakes cuz she was a tranny train wreck drunky pants and could potentially startle the snakes. Action packed!

David Aguilar and his beasts!

After the drag show all the boys and girls got saddled up into their beast outfits, donning masks, hooves, snouts, fur, feathers and antlers, parading through the streets of Guerneville after midnight, crashing all the parties in all the bars in town one after the other. This was the moment, the sheer pandemonium that we created, brining a sleepy resort town onto its dancing feet. Not everyone was pleased. A local stopped to ask Vivvy Anne Forevermore “What are you twelve?” And she responded, “No, I’m 29 and I’m dressed like a deer.” We moved on, dancing and laughing in our beastly guises. We tore up the bars, the streets, and if I had made it any further (I got distracted by a new special friend), then I would have seen us tear up the local Safeway at almost 2am as well. Rumor has it that tupperware was stolen in a drunken stupor. Genius!

Horsin'

The Beast Generation

Joe had the grossest beast! Amazing!

King Kong Clintzilla!

Seanie and Viv

John is a freak.

Adorable little animals.

Rrarr!

Jason and Evan

Oh Dear!

The next day after the dizziness and blur of Saturday faded, I found myself not in my ugly motel room, but with a complete stranger in a very nice private cabin. What a relief! Once I got my bearings I walk-of-shamed back to my buddies at our room to find that they had already checked out. I was abandoned! But not for long. I headed over to the poolside at the RRR and laid out, waiting for my buddies and sussing out breakfast plans with my fellow food seekers.

Mama wants some breakfast now!

Sunday was a blast, laid back, tipsy, fun.  Vivvy treated us to a poolside version of “Part of Your World” from the Little Mermaid. The splashing was relentless, fulfilling. My new special friend and I ran up to the local store to get floaty toys for the pool. While I was there I fell in love with a little charmer who I named Drowney Sensation (see pic below). She was such hit, stealing all of my attention! I’m hoping that she can make it next year.

Matt loves unicorns, too!

Drowney Sensation makes a splash!

Mikey about to be pushed into the pool.

Viv's poolside Little Mermaid.

Hot pink!

Tan line contestant (and winner in my opinion) Todd from NYC!

Andrew and Jason

Valentine gets some shade

The ride home was good, a bit sleepy with a stop off to get some In and Out Burger. There my buddy Joe entertained the locals with some of his beast trickery. Work those panty hose beastie!

Work!

Bye bye Drowney and Friends!

What an amazing weekend. If you didn’t go this summer, you MUST go next year! It has to be experienced  to be believed. Some people said it was the best weekend of their lives. I thought it was outstanding! I made new “friends,” lost count on mudslides, performed (on and off stage), took sexy pix of everyone, met a drag legend, dressed up like something from “Where the Wild Things Are,” and drown my newly adopted baby. It was exhausting fun! I dare you to do next year!

xo

Faux King Awesome!

CLICK HERE TO SEE VIDEO OF SHIRLEY

Shirley entertains the crowd at the RRR.

What could be more offensive than having a retard open for someone in blackface?  Downey pulled out an amazing 10 minute plus Michael Jackson medley less than a week before his death, leading to charges of “Downey killed Michael Jackson” later in the week. I felt that his number was so shameful that it killed him.

Downey takes a soda and sun chip break.

Downey recreates Michael Jackson's Billy Jean video.

Downey's talking to the man in the tin foil mirror.

Low tech way to face morph from the song "Black and White"

Downey bows out.

Bebe Sweetbriar entertained the crowd with a live song before introducing Shirley.  Before she sang, Bebe warned us that she is not the funny type of queen, and that she would do what she does best to delight us.

BeBe Sweetbriar sings us a song before introducing Shirley.

Although she is very controversial, hated by many groups/individuals, banned from cities across the US, Shirley is also loved by many as well. There is a website dedicated to defaming Shirley Q Liquor that is featured on Shirely’s website as a way to “download or listen to hilarious ignunce and videos from Mrs. Liquor.” She directs people that visit her site to get their recordings there.

The one thing that I enjoyed most about Shirley’s performance was that I understood her sense of intelligence that comes through the material.  She’s sharp, funny and really loves herself and the audience.

Shirley reads members of the audience who were heckling.

Who's My Baby Daddy?

Shirley also sings a song or two for us.

Shirley tells Vanilla Ice to sit his ass down in his seat.

I was able to get some video here and there from the show. I rudimentarily put together a short video of some really funny shit. Click here for the video : Shirley Q Liquor at the Russian River Resort

Shirley and me