life is a drag
Posts tagged Opalteen
SOME THING Solid at The Stud Sold Solid Gold
Nov 4th
Solid Gold. Solid. SOLID SOME THING boogied into the night with disco inspired numbers and avant-garde interpretations of the word SOLID. I really didn’t understand the night or my assignment as I joined Opalteen on stage for our version of SOLID by Ashford and Simpson. It was a very special moment for me in my life. It was a lot of fun ;]
Photo by: Eric Harvieux
For a show about disco there sure were a lot of unusual non-disco songs.
A lot of songs featuring poop.
Solid Poop. Solid. And SOLID SOME THING pooped all over the stage… or it could have been chocolate. It’s difficult to judge.
:] faux king awesome xo
OPALTEEN & FAUX KING AWESOME
JORGE
COCO CANAL
APRIL MEI JOON
VIVVY ANNE FOREVERMORE
PHATIMA
DONNA PERSONNA
LADY BEAR
VIVVY ANNE FOREVERMORE
MUTHA CHUCKA
GLAMAMORE
SOME THING Celebrates Mr. David’s Birthday
Oct 15th
I can’t remember the first time I met Mr. David, and it’s prolly because he was dressed like Glamamore at the time. He seems to have always been there, looking out, watching everyone’s first steps, encouraging more and more from you. Now I may not remember the first time I met him, but I won’t forget the first time he burned me (on purpose) with his cigarette. And although I fretted, and scowled, and then blistered a tiny bit, I knew that it was some sort of initiation, a tough love, or perhaps I was just standing too close. I of course got over it, and now I can gaze upon the tiniest of scars on my wrist with affection. It’s fucked up, but it’s true. I love you granny.
I’ve always seen David as a drag mentor. He knows about the outfits, the makeup, the wigs, the moves, the lip sync, the style, the music, the look. He can talk to all of this; it’s really amazing to have so much wrapped up into one person. So the drag wonders at SOME THING celebrated Mr. David’s birthday with a special night of performances from some of his nearest and dearest, and newest friends.
Please check out performances below from Hoku Mama Swamp, Putanesca, Vivvy Anne Forevermore, Miss Rahni, Fauxnique, Suppositori Spelling Nikki Starr and more.
:] xoxo FKA
Hoku Mama Swamp
Vivvy Anne Forevermore
Miss Rahni
Phatima
Chi Chi Vargas
Alexis Blair Penney
Tina Benez
Suppositori Spelling
Kalisto
Monistat
Honey Mahogany
Suppositori Spelling… Again!
Putanesca
Katya Smirnoff-Skyy
Fauxnique & Stanley Frank Sensation
Nikki Starr
Fauxnique, Vivvy, Hoku, Puta & Spaz
Happy Birthday Mr. David
Dragslag Returns! Photo Updates!
Apr 24th
Unmotivated. Lazy. Grindr addiction. New BF. Busy with day job. Distracted by Facebook. I have a billion excuses as to why I haven’t posted in a while. At times I actually forgot that I have this great blog. So I’ll keep my yammering to a minimum and just give you the goods. Here are a shit load of pics from the last several months. Word up!
Mutha Chucka at Tiara Sensation
Opalteen at Tiara Sensation
Miss Nix at Charlie Horse
Juanita MORE! and Faux King Awesome at Booty Call
Anna Conda at Charlie Horse
Downey at Charlie Horse
Dean Disaster and Kegel Kater at Charlie Horse
Sheena Leggz at Charlie Horse
Puta at Charlie Horse
Boo Boo Jins (Facebook this bitch) at Hoku's Drag Parade
Ambrosia Salad Incites the Police at Hoku's Drag Parade
Dean Disaster and Dam Dyke at Hoku's Drag Parade
Lady Bear as Miss Nix at Tiara Sensation
Hoku as Ambrosia Salad at Tiara Sensation
Faux King Awesome Krueger and Hoku at Booty Call - PHOTO BY BRANDON NORRIS
Hoku and Faux King Awesome at Booty Call
Alexis Von Fierce and Monistat at Charlie Horse
Monistat at Drag Queens on Ice in Union Square
Faux King Awesome at Trannyshack Star Search
Vivvy Anne ForeverMORE! at Trannyshack Star Search
Juanita Fajita as Rosario at Trannyshack Star Search
Faux King Awesome Clowning Around at Raya Light's Place
Monistat at Tiara Sensation
Fauxnique at Tiara Sensation
Raya Light at Tiara Sensation
Opalteen at SOME THING Likes It Hot
Jordan L'Amore at SOME THING Likes It Hot
Turleen at Trannyshack Lady Gaga Tribute Night at the Deco
Faux King Awesome after Anna Conda's Fundraiser
Faux King Awesome after SOME THING Ye Olde
Faux King Awesome after Trannyshack Reno
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Some Are Camp Madness Goes Coo-Coo Bananas!
Aug 17th
I love looking forward to something that I know is going to be amazing, like a weekend get-away or PB and Bacon sandwich. The few days before your get-away drag on and on until the last minute, but then the moment comes when you’re about to embark on your trip, you have all the time in the world ahead of you. I always savor those moments, the ride up, the journey.
But fuck that! The real fun is the destination: Some Are Camp!
Me, my favorite ex, Seanie, his fab gal pal Arielle, and my two jealous, tragically flawed, but super fun buddies John and Joe arrived on Friday night, set up camp in the ugliest motel room I’ve ever seen, gussied up, went to Safeway, then hit up the RRR in Guerneville for some boozing, cruising and Karaoke. Oh, and because of our belated arrival and dilly dallying, we missed the Maricon-ita drag show by about 20 minutes. Thanks to Kiddie for heading this up. I heard it was amazing!
John, Arielle, Seanie and Joe take in the flavor of the motel room.
Mr. David croons us during karaoke.
The next day we got up, drank a bloody mary breakfast and never looked back. The whole day was filled with sun, fun, boys, girls, mudslides, trannies and of course drag.
Arielle and Seanie drink the breakfast of champions!
Arielle promised to only wear heels all weekend, even in the pool. Hooker realness!
Mutha Chucka's got Rahni in stitches.
Oxana Olsen gives good face!
Vivvy's done with these effen heels.
Vajonna D'Entata is feeling Farrah Fawcetty
Stephen and Terry make nice.
Hoku Mama Swamp and Ambrosia who is apparently in black face. Lay off the bronzer girl!
DJ Dirty Knees had us rockin!
Nikola, Seanie and Arielle
These lovely ladies
We love wet guys: Jonathan and David
Nikola and David get interrupted by Ambrosia.
Honey Mahogany and David Aguilar
Poolside drag anyone? Downey, Hoku, Mutha Chucka, Dam Dyke and Dean Disaster put on a hilarious and inspired poolside drag show. Downey and Hoku’s duet to “Almost Paradise” was a hit, featuring Hoku as one die, and Downey as a domino. Close enough! It’s a touching number where they fall in love and teach each other about life’s pleasures, eating Sun Chips and ribbon dancing.
Hoku and Downey make an entrance.
Twirl bitches, twirl!
Almost Pair of Dice.
Sun Chip Lessons from Downey
Ribbon Dancing Lessons from Hoku
Tender and sweet finish
Dam Dyke makes friends with the ladies!
Dean Disaster trucks it around the pool. She even stopped for a smoke break!
Dean and Dam
Dean eats it.
Chucka rips us a new one!
Then takes a tiny sip.
Then hits the deck.
Saturday night found us entertained by a crazy drag show hosted by Glamamore, titled “Glamamore’s Meager Things and Stuff” which was a sensation! Lady Bunny flew all the way from New York just to entertain us with her bawdy songs filled with poo and dick jokes.
Vivvy giving some Lucille Ball
Chastiti Bell
Honey and Chucka
Glamamore!
Grace looking wicked!
Hoku
Me and Lady Bunny
During the show I was busy taking pics of David Aguilar and his gorgeous boa constrictors. Folks got to pose with them, having first to sign a waiver in case the snake did something unexpected. No one was hurt, but I heard a rumor that I started where a certain someone had to be escorted away from David and the snakes cuz she was a tranny train wreck drunky pants and could potentially startle the snakes. Action packed!
David Aguilar and his beasts!
After the drag show all the boys and girls got saddled up into their beast outfits, donning masks, hooves, snouts, fur, feathers and antlers, parading through the streets of Guerneville after midnight, crashing all the parties in all the bars in town one after the other. This was the moment, the sheer pandemonium that we created, brining a sleepy resort town onto its dancing feet. Not everyone was pleased. A local stopped to ask Vivvy Anne Forevermore “What are you twelve?” And she responded, “No, I’m 29 and I’m dressed like a deer.” We moved on, dancing and laughing in our beastly guises. We tore up the bars, the streets, and if I had made it any further (I got distracted by a new special friend), then I would have seen us tear up the local Safeway at almost 2am as well. Rumor has it that tupperware was stolen in a drunken stupor. Genius!
Horsin'
The Beast Generation
Joe had the grossest beast! Amazing!
King Kong Clintzilla!
Seanie and Viv
John is a freak.
Adorable little animals.
Rrarr!
Jason and Evan
Oh Dear!
The next day after the dizziness and blur of Saturday faded, I found myself not in my ugly motel room, but with a complete stranger in a very nice private cabin. What a relief! Once I got my bearings I walk-of-shamed back to my buddies at our room to find that they had already checked out. I was abandoned! But not for long. I headed over to the poolside at the RRR and laid out, waiting for my buddies and sussing out breakfast plans with my fellow food seekers.
Mama wants some breakfast now!
Sunday was a blast, laid back, tipsy, fun. Vivvy treated us to a poolside version of “Part of Your World” from the Little Mermaid. The splashing was relentless, fulfilling. My new special friend and I ran up to the local store to get floaty toys for the pool. While I was there I fell in love with a little charmer who I named Drowney Sensation (see pic below). She was such hit, stealing all of my attention! I’m hoping that she can make it next year.
Matt loves unicorns, too!
Drowney Sensation makes a splash!
Mikey about to be pushed into the pool.
Viv's poolside Little Mermaid.
Hot pink!
Tan line contestant (and winner in my opinion) Todd from NYC!
Andrew and Jason
Valentine gets some shade
The ride home was good, a bit sleepy with a stop off to get some In and Out Burger. There my buddy Joe entertained the locals with some of his beast trickery. Work those panty hose beastie!
Work!
Bye bye Drowney and Friends!
What an amazing weekend. If you didn’t go this summer, you MUST go next year! It has to be experienced to be believed. Some people said it was the best weekend of their lives. I thought it was outstanding! I made new “friends,” lost count on mudslides, performed (on and off stage), took sexy pix of everyone, met a drag legend, dressed up like something from “Where the Wild Things Are,” and drown my newly adopted baby. It was exhausting fun! I dare you to do next year!
xo
Faux King Awesome!
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If ‘That’s Not Drag,’ Then It Must Be Tiara Sensation!
Aug 16th
“That’s not drag!” shouts the obnoxious know-it-all trannysseur wannabe. “That’s not drag! You can’t just go up there on stage dressed like a clown and pull ribbons out of your ass! I’m sorry, but that’s not drag!”
Well then what is it? What is it when you’re not sure what it is? Is it art? What is art?
Does it matter? Does questioning it matter? Who cares?
Personally I don’t effen care how people get their rocks off on stage as long as it’s funny, scary or sad. I don’t really care if anyone lives or dies on that stage as long as I feel something. Isn’t that what it really is? It’s really about you as a voyeur, an audience member, being pleased, satiated. I go to shows to be challenged, to be moved, to laugh till my head hurts, to heckle, to be inspired. But I go to Tiara Sensation on Monday nights at the Stud to celebrate the retarded things that make life so amazing! Clearly Tiara Sensation has become the most retarded drag night in the city. The infamous Project Runtover, the once a month dragstravaganza that pits multiple teams of models/designers against each other to win the most infantile fashion (drag) show you’ve ever seen. The Bathhouse Betty nights with themed drag show and “special maze” for clothing optional encounters. The once in a while game shows hosted by Hot Gloobanks, most recently Family Screwed! Oh, and let’s not forget that this dance floor comes with a craft table for creating your own tiaras. There was a weenie roast last week and S’mores this past week. Is this really drag? It has to be experienced to believed. Trust.
The creators of Project Runtover Vivvy Anne Forevermore, DJ Down-E, Glamamore and Hot Gloo have brainstormed a night that dares you not to do drag. When I first heard they were doing this I thought it was brilliant, but did not think anyone would show up to do anything. They had over a dozen performers. It was a hit! Everything from spoken word, dancing, drama, smoking, vogueing, screeching cats, and live singing. The show went on forever and was hysterical, crescendoing into a drag number that took everyone outside into the parking lot next door.
Vivvy Anne Forevermore and Elijah Minelli opened the show with a 10 minute dual lip synch to Elizabeth Taylor’s Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Applying makeup, tossing back a slew of shots, grimacing, glaring, fist-clenching, screaming, working the room, using the whole place as their stage, in our faces, in unison with each other. In the end the two Martha’s held hands. It was funny, mesmerizing, and beautiful, but mostly retarded.
Vivvy Anne readies herself as Elijah Minelli looks on
The Marthas race to the bottom... of a shot glass.
Viv and Elijah think Richard Burton has another thing coming.
The Marthas unite.
The rest of the night ceased to amaze, a cavalcade of drag/not drag performances that dazzled the imagination, but mostly were really retarded. Such varied performances ranged from spoken word to spoken lip synch, from interpretive dance to interpretive modeling.
Opalteen/Hot Gloo rocks out like Steven Tyler.
Dam Dyke gets philosophical and asks "What is drag?"
Monistat poses, vogues, smokes, glares, shifts and models all at once.
Ferosha Interprets for us through dance.
Chastiti does Liza. Hey that's drag! How'd that get in there?
Rahni pumps it up. Back flips, finger-pointing live singing realness! Get it!
Mr. David lays it out for us real plain.
The true highlight of the night came from Beth Amphetamine’s outdoor parking lot performance atop a moving vehicle. Lip synching “Hold On” by Wilson Philips, Beth worked the trashy crack whore drag, climbed onto her own car and held on tight as it moved around in circles. Flava Flav helped out with art direction and general dope-cred factor. “Dontcha know things will change, things will go your way…” Work!!!
Beth works the tranny hooker realness.
Adding Flava Flav to any music video changes everything!
Flawless car-top performance.
So this is drag. It’s been re-defined as not-not drag. Irony upon irony until it just doesn’t matter anymore. I wanna give a 5-star shout out to the folks over at Tiara for making this such a fun and unexpectedly great night of the most random performances. Tiara really puts the art in retarded.
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Beige Is All the Rage!!!
May 24th
Beige. Zzzzzzzzzz… Oh, sorry, but come on, BEIGE?! What kind of theme is this?!?! And how the fuck is it supposed to work? Beige reminds me of the late 70′s, very early 80′s when I was wearing plaid bell bottoms and my folks were choosing horrid beige wallpaper for the bathroom and beige furniture for the living room. My dad even bought a champaign colored (beige) Chevy Cavalier to match his fabulous beige Members Only jacket. I grew up with beige and thought that I left it behind when I moved to San Francisco. But it found me.
Anna Conda served up a delicious slice of taupeness, hosting the show in a glamorously snoozy polyester pant suit that just screamed key party.
Her performance was a bit less subdued, featuring a tan trench over a beige body suit sporting a giant dirty blonde patch of crotch bush that could be seen from space. Hilare! And gross.
More queens turned out to perform on Beige Night than on Impostors Night the week before… almost twice as many! And with a theme like beige, you really have to bring it to make it interesting.
VivvyAnne Forevermore powdered her face red and blue, striking it with a magic marker, creating long bottom lashes. Hmmm… this seems familiar. Is that Hoku Mama Swamp?! Vivs was cleverly plugging Tiara Sensation’s Hoku’s Drag Race Night, encouraging people to VOTE HOKU! Well I say VOTE SWAMP!
Eli poses with Hoku before the show…
Viv’s marker got a lot of attention throughout the show…
The show continued with two fabulous ladies visiting us from Aunt Charlie’s in the Tenderloin. Bonnie Sawyer, missing teeth and all, snapped up dollar bills, singing a twangy country number. Donna Personna ripped up with stage to La Bouche’s “Be My Lover.” After the show I told her that that song took me back… to 1994! Good times. I think both of these queens misunderstood the assignment, neither dressing in a stitch of beige, but I guess that’s how they do things down in the TL. Work.
Lil Miss Hot Mess sang “Little Boxes,” painting brightly colored paper houses with beige paint. I thought the song choice was perfect for her. The number was cute, especially when she gave up painting and just started squirting paint all over the houses.
I can’t even remember what Dam Dyke did or sang cuz I was so intrigued by her beige outfit and cup of beige coffee. It struck me as funny that coffee is beige, too. Everything was the same shade of beige. You know beige beige. And I’m hella jel over those shimmery Hollywood Montrose shades!
Miss Nix, seeming to serenade DJ Dirty Knees throughout her performance, worked the golden beige.
Anna Warhola busted out the baseball bat and whip after Downey snatched her wig off her head. She cracked the whip a few times, freaking me out as usual. My brother whipped me in the face with a rubber snake when I was a kid; I have latent trauma. I love the outtie!
Liza with a P, who stole the show for Liz Taylor Night, dazzled audiences in a two-tone beige dress. Her dancing and mugging made for a great performance.
Glamamore brought the Morrissey (can you say ba-eige?), being boring throughout the entire song with boots up on VivvyAnne Forevermore’s hips. Their exchanges were hilarious. Hold my drink! Fierce.
Little Opalteen strutted her stuff next, giving great drag face. She dubbed in farts over the delightful soundtrack, hovering over a small fan each time which blew her skirt up. Classy.
Finally, Karen Kills blew the stage up with Coco Puffs and a half gallon of milk which she had dumped over her body. This to screams of “I’m lactose intolerant!” from an audience member. The best part was that Karen’s outfit absorbed a lot of the milk which occasionally dripped from her titty like a lactating breast. I was deeply amused.
And let’s not forget Marcy Playground’s “performance” at the foot of the stage. Beigelessness.
Beige, taupe, tan, khaki and camel. So many varieties of boring to exploit. Overall I think these folks did a great job handling the beige challenge. I’m curious as to what color Anna will choose next year. I’m a fan of chartreuse myself.
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