life is a drag
Posts tagged Hoku Mama Swamp
SOME THING Celebrates Mr. David’s Birthday
Oct 15th
I can’t remember the first time I met Mr. David, and it’s prolly because he was dressed like Glamamore at the time. He seems to have always been there, looking out, watching everyone’s first steps, encouraging more and more from you. Now I may not remember the first time I met him, but I won’t forget the first time he burned me (on purpose) with his cigarette. And although I fretted, and scowled, and then blistered a tiny bit, I knew that it was some sort of initiation, a tough love, or perhaps I was just standing too close. I of course got over it, and now I can gaze upon the tiniest of scars on my wrist with affection. It’s fucked up, but it’s true. I love you granny.
I’ve always seen David as a drag mentor. He knows about the outfits, the makeup, the wigs, the moves, the lip sync, the style, the music, the look. He can talk to all of this; it’s really amazing to have so much wrapped up into one person. So the drag wonders at SOME THING celebrated Mr. David’s birthday with a special night of performances from some of his nearest and dearest, and newest friends.
Please check out performances below from Hoku Mama Swamp, Putanesca, Vivvy Anne Forevermore, Miss Rahni, Fauxnique, Suppositori Spelling Nikki Starr and more.
:] xoxo FKA
Hoku Mama Swamp
Vivvy Anne Forevermore
Miss Rahni
Phatima
Chi Chi Vargas
Alexis Blair Penney
Tina Benez
Suppositori Spelling
Kalisto
Monistat
Honey Mahogany
Suppositori Spelling… Again!
Putanesca
Katya Smirnoff-Skyy
Fauxnique & Stanley Frank Sensation
Nikki Starr
Fauxnique, Vivvy, Hoku, Puta & Spaz
Happy Birthday Mr. David
Drowning Lady 2010 at Cocktailgate
Sep 16th
So if you were one of the millions (billions?) that went to Burning Man this year, and consequently helped to empty out San Francisco, considerably, then you missed the drag show Cocktailgate at Truck celebrating the anti-Burning Man: Drowning Lady. This night was originally started by Cocktailgate’s hostess Suppositori Spelling a few years back, but now that she’s a Burning Man convert the show has been taken over by my drag family. What follows is retarded, sexy and fierce.
Hoku Mama Swamp, Glamamore, hostess Vivvy Anne Forevermore, Mutha Chucka, Shakey Gibson, Virginia Suicide and more graced us with their wettest. Hoku made the most of the new shower installed next to the stage (see video below). It’s almost unbelievable, and only in San Francisco.
Here’s some photos of Mutha Chucka:
Here are a few video clips I got of Hoku, Glamamore, and Hoku again:
SOME THING EVIL!
May 25th
So Joshua Grannell (aka Peaches Christ) made this movie called All About Evil, and the night before the world premier at the Castro Theater she teamed up with my drag sister Vivvy Anne Forevermore and my drag granny, Glamamore to help celebrate this instant cult classic horror film with a wonderful drag show at SOME THING at the Stud. The film is fucking great. I may be biased (I’m an extra seated next to Heklina during the grande finale), but I’m also a very skeptical and cruelly judgmental movie-goer, and I have to tell you that being on the set, getting to know everyone involved from actors to extras from crew to producers, I could, with confidence, say that this movie was going to be gaymazing! And it is.

Peaches Christ gives good grindhouse with evil twins Jade and Nikita Ramsay
I got a first look at it when Joshua screened a cast and crew show late last year at the Victoria Theater. It was great to see all the folks from the set back in the theater where we filmed. And All About Evil was awesome! Experiencing the movie again this month at The Castro with so many fresh eyes watching it for the first time was a raging hoot! We all laughed so hard, people heckled, I even discovered new things to laugh at this time around. That is a great sign. Any good cult movie gets funnier the more times you see it because you recognize more things and find different levels of humor in some things than you did before. Plus the shared experience cannot be beat. You have to experience this at the cinema. And Peaches Christ is taking this movie on tour all over the US complete with a pre-show dragstravaganza that is sure to give you more bang for your movie buck. Check out this link to see if it’s going to come to your hometown. Not coming to a theater near you? Then I would suggest starting a Facebook page to demand it come. Many cities like my hometown of Detroit did just that. We gotta show booked within days!
The SOME THING EVIL show was a riot. Lots of fake blood, horror movie references, torture and laughs. Here’s some pics:

Mercy Fuque gets Psycho

Drill, Baby, Drill. Hoku makes a nice Wednesday Addams

Ric Ray introduces an eyeless gal

Vivvy Anne Forevermore and Peaches introduce Mink Stole

Juanita MORE! sparks up some seductive evil with the help of Mr. David
Dragslag Returns! Photo Updates!
Apr 24th
Unmotivated. Lazy. Grindr addiction. New BF. Busy with day job. Distracted by Facebook. I have a billion excuses as to why I haven’t posted in a while. At times I actually forgot that I have this great blog. So I’ll keep my yammering to a minimum and just give you the goods. Here are a shit load of pics from the last several months. Word up!

Mutha Chucka at Tiara Sensation

Opalteen at Tiara Sensation

Miss Nix at Charlie Horse

Juanita MORE! and Faux King Awesome at Booty Call

Anna Conda at Charlie Horse

Downey at Charlie Horse

Dean Disaster and Kegel Kater at Charlie Horse

Sheena Leggz at Charlie Horse

Puta at Charlie Horse

Boo Boo Jins (Facebook this bitch) at Hoku's Drag Parade

Ambrosia Salad Incites the Police at Hoku's Drag Parade

Dean Disaster and Dam Dyke at Hoku's Drag Parade

Lady Bear as Miss Nix at Tiara Sensation

Hoku as Ambrosia Salad at Tiara Sensation

Faux King Awesome Krueger and Hoku at Booty Call - PHOTO BY BRANDON NORRIS

Hoku and Faux King Awesome at Booty Call

Alexis Von Fierce and Monistat at Charlie Horse

Monistat at Drag Queens on Ice in Union Square

Faux King Awesome at Trannyshack Star Search

Vivvy Anne ForeverMORE! at Trannyshack Star Search

Juanita Fajita as Rosario at Trannyshack Star Search

Faux King Awesome Clowning Around at Raya Light's Place

Monistat at Tiara Sensation

Fauxnique at Tiara Sensation

Raya Light at Tiara Sensation

Opalteen at SOME THING Likes It Hot

Jordan L'Amore at SOME THING Likes It Hot

Turleen at Trannyshack Lady Gaga Tribute Night at the Deco

Faux King Awesome after Anna Conda's Fundraiser

Faux King Awesome after SOME THING Ye Olde

Faux King Awesome after Trannyshack Reno
Sorry Charlie Horse, Farewell
Nov 10th
The first time I ever took the stage as Faux King Awesome was a little more than a year ago on the Charlie Horse stage. I have always enjoyed performing since I was a little kid, writing, directing, performing and charging family members to see my silly shows in my grandma’s basement. Later, in college I became obsessed with sensational multimedia performance art, throwing absurdly huge parties with midnight performances at my house in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood just outside of Detroit. I would inevitably answer the door wearing a suit and tie with no pants to the startled amusement of local police, asking me to get the drunks inside and turn the music down. Neighbors would awake to plastic pigs and flamingos on my roof and front lawn, gobs of food everywhere, other party remnants laying about. But the party was always a success. My goal was to entertain folks. I never wanted them to forget what they saw; I wanted them to remember these parties forever. Showmanship. Realness. Fun.

Charlie Horse embodied the same vigor, imagination and rebellion that my parties did; so it’s no small wonder that after discovering my alter ego I approached Anna Conda to see if she’d let me perform. I said, “I have this idea, I don’t know if it’ll work, but I wanted to know if you’ll let me do it.” Through a cocktail or two Anna told me, “I don’t care if it doesn’t work.”
Low expections? Try NO EXPECTATIONS! That works for me! Not that I wasn’t nervous my first time, but at least it didn’t matter if I failed. I had my foot in the drag door, I did what I loved and people actually thought it was cute. I’ll take cute. Then I continued on, conjuring up all kinds of ideas that I was allowed to realize on that two-pool-tables-together stage. In less than a year Anna gave me my own pre-show, every last Friday. Reverend Awesome’s Tent Revival Show. Wow! I was shocked. I never expected this opportunity, way outta left field you know?
I liked Charlie Horse. I loved it. I “got” it. It’s irreverent, retarded, fierce, insane, just plain awful charm/performances. And I feel beyond lucky to have shared that stage with such amazing performers: those homegrown like myself, and also drag legends, folks from the famed Trannyshack stage, Aunt Charlie’s Lounge, etc. I learned a lot from these folks and I am grateful. They’re all very funny and I have several fond memories hanging out back stage, helping each other get ready, fastening buttons, spraying wigs, touching up makeup, dodging sewage dripping from the ceiling, pissing in the basement, jumping into the cooler after burning it up on stage. I spent some nights pacing in the basement, waiting to go on, others staking out my position at the foot of the stage to engage the performers with my camera. And I always had fun regardless of the performance caliber (some nights were admittedly just bad) and this is what made it great. Realness, a truth in the air, the ability to laugh at yourself.
Post-Trannyshack, Charlie Horse was the last of the old school alternative drag parties that kind of held vast drag factions together. I’m not saying (and I don’t think) that different groups are adversarial, but in the year and I half that I spent clicking picks and roaming about The Cinch I saw just about everyone there, whether they performed or not. This collective memory is important as it will shape the future of what we ALL do going forward. There are civic powers that want to control what we do and where we do it. The developers and corporations have plans for the city, big plans, and the better educated you are about what they are proposing the better. Make sure you do your homework before you vote next time, especially if you voted for Newsom last time. READ THE GUARDIAN EVERY WEEK!!! It’s the best local news. Ask me questions! I love it!
In the end we ALL have to work together to keep what is important to us. I suggest taking more drag to the streets. Hoku Mama and my Tiara Sensation drag family led a hilarious and inspired group of performers through the city last month. And although we were met with threats from authorities at every turn, we still created a visibility that can’t be denied, and laughter and joy that will be the highlight of many vacations of tourists who clicked our pictures and applauded our delightful antics. Why not just have a weekly performance in front of city hall? All you need is a sound system and a dream. Do it guerilla style.
I would like to thank Anna Conda for slinging drag every week for over five years in a dirty Polk Street saloon, and for her courage and tenacity when it comes to voicing herself politically, motivating others to take action as well. Thank you!
Adieu Charlie Horse, Adieu!
Faux King Awesome
Trans Fat Clogs the Cinch
Jun 13th
My favorite drag night of the year is when all the gorgeous plus size, full-figured ladies fill the stage with their presence, giving you twice as much to love. Trans Fat Night at Charlie Horse showcases some of SF’s finest plump and vivacious ladies bringing down the house. Who knew that getting so much would leave you wanting more!
Anna Conda opened the show with an off-topic number (appropriate since she’s so skinny), but it was a great way to start the show following our third Take Back the Polk March. About two dozen pissed off and determined folks marched from The Cinch to the Supreme Court of California to protest their decision to uphold Prop 8‘s injustices. With sacks of doo doo wrapped up in designer shopping bags in tow, we chanted for 13 blocks, grabbing the attention of passersby and the occasional police car.

Anna Conda Leads the Poop Parade

Poop and roaches oh my! Gifts for the decision-makers

Anna Conda screams for justice.
Holy McGrail needed the help of a big strong man (and some bolt cutters) to get her buttons undone, revealing some clever and tantalizing pasties.

Holy McGrail loosens up her buttons
Mutha Chucka busted out the corn dogs for her number, mowing on them, teasing the audience with them, and all in the name of equal rights! Her number had a political edge to it in honor of the march.

Mutha Chucka chows down on an innocent corn dog.

A lucky dude gets some corn dog lovin.
Lady Bear, Joie de Vivre, Marcy Playground and Miss Nix bring their extra-caloric realness to the Trans Fat stage.

Lady Bear gives some gorgeousness.

Joie de Vivre livens up the stage

Marcy Playground brings realness.

L Ron Hubby and Miss Nix do the Mamas and the Papas.
Hoku Mama Swamp closed the show with an updated version of “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” Mama treats the audience to some random radio play before drowning herself in milk, chocolate sauce, marshmallows and a box of sugar over an inflatable kiddie pool. The crowd went ape shit when she kicked the pool to the side as the sugar came falling down over her body. Rich.

Hoku jams (and peanut butter) out to Def Leopard.

Sugar high: Hoku Mama Swamp gets a cup-full in the eye.

Mama's got a sweet tooth.
This was a wonderful way to end a night full of big beauties and their outrageous talents. As always, looking forward to next year.
Hokumania Breaks Out at The Stud!
Jun 13th
So there’s this over-the-top drag queen who got this reality TV show where she dresses the girls up, makes them sachet, work and fight to win America’s Next Top Model… oh, wait… that’s fucking RuPual under that weave! So I guess Rupaul has a reality TV show where a bunch of queens must “lip sync for their life,” I don’t really know cuz I never watched the first season; this is due to a conflict of interest: because there were no SF queens on the show my interest conflicted its way somewhere else, like to a bag of chips or hottie. But this season there is a great chance of getting some representation: Hoku Mama Swamp!
Hoku is currently hovering somewhere between number 10 and 15 on rupaulcasting.com; she is also the top faux queen in the nation. This is quite an achievement and I wish her the best of luck; she’s hilarious, sexy, retarded and I would love to see her on TV.
Tiara Sensation hosted Hoku’s Drag Race where each performer had to dress up in Hoku Mama face and lip sync for their lives. I was lucky enough to be one of the performers, although I only had one hour to find a song from DJ Down-E’s CDs, come up with a concept, and rehearse it. I ended up doing Jimmy Buffet‘s “Why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw),” wearing a Hoku eye mask, chugging a beer, and acting retarded. I think I did Mama proud.
Other, more seasoned and professional performers such as Lady Bear, Alotta Boutte, Kegel Kater and Mutha Chucka did justice to the name Swamp. Hoku opened the show with “The Man is Mine” by Ike and Tina; this was the first drag number Hoku ever did back in 2003; she brought it back covered in red fringe. Hot!

Hoku Mama Swamp opens the show with a little Ike and Tina.
Mutha Chucka camped up the stage in swamp makeup that looked like a toddler did it. Chucka admitted that she put a few too many lower lashes in. I say more more more! The rouge is my favorite part! Go Chucka go!!

Mutha Chucka dons the luscious lower lashes in a turn as Hoku.
Kegel Kater busted out the cowboy hat a mic to parody a Paula Cole ditty. Kegel’s version: “Where Have All the Hoku’s Gone?” had the crowd laughing. I spoke with Kegel later and she said that she pretty much ad-libbed the verses. Total props!

Kegel Kater serenades Hoku with the live mic.
Lady Bear had the honor of doing two numbers that night; the first interrupted by Hoku because she thought Lady Bear could do better, the second a dancey house number that had everyone bopping and rolling. It was a magic moment.

Lady Bear Swamp and Baby Bear Dazzle the Stud
Alotta Boutte did a sexy number where she transformed from a dapper gentleman to a sexy burlesque hot mama. The swamp makeup fit the transition quite well. Get it girl!

Alotta Boutte makes a handsome swamp gent.

And she makes one sexy mama swamp!
Hoku closed the show with Mariah Carey‘s “We Belong Together,” sitting in a fake bathtub, dousing herself in water. This is one of my favorite numbers; it’s sexy, funny and wet. Hoku jumps out of the tub at the end to mug for the camera. Sheer genius!

Rub a dub dub. Hoku busts it out clean.

I think Hoku likes you.

Sexy Mama Swamp Donkey
After the show all the girls got into the tub for a little photo session. For real!

Hoku Mamas

Swamp Donkeys
Beige Is All the Rage!!!
May 24th
Beige. Zzzzzzzzzz… Oh, sorry, but come on, BEIGE?! What kind of theme is this?!?! And how the fuck is it supposed to work? Beige reminds me of the late 70′s, very early 80′s when I was wearing plaid bell bottoms and my folks were choosing horrid beige wallpaper for the bathroom and beige furniture for the living room. My dad even bought a champaign colored (beige) Chevy Cavalier to match his fabulous beige Members Only jacket. I grew up with beige and thought that I left it behind when I moved to San Francisco. But it found me.
Anna Conda served up a delicious slice of taupeness, hosting the show in a glamorously snoozy polyester pant suit that just screamed key party.
Her performance was a bit less subdued, featuring a tan trench over a beige body suit sporting a giant dirty blonde patch of crotch bush that could be seen from space. Hilare! And gross.
More queens turned out to perform on Beige Night than on Impostors Night the week before… almost twice as many! And with a theme like beige, you really have to bring it to make it interesting.
VivvyAnne Forevermore powdered her face red and blue, striking it with a magic marker, creating long bottom lashes. Hmmm… this seems familiar. Is that Hoku Mama Swamp?! Vivs was cleverly plugging Tiara Sensation’s Hoku’s Drag Race Night, encouraging people to VOTE HOKU! Well I say VOTE SWAMP!
Eli poses with Hoku before the show…
Viv’s marker got a lot of attention throughout the show…
The show continued with two fabulous ladies visiting us from Aunt Charlie’s in the Tenderloin. Bonnie Sawyer, missing teeth and all, snapped up dollar bills, singing a twangy country number. Donna Personna ripped up with stage to La Bouche’s “Be My Lover.” After the show I told her that that song took me back… to 1994! Good times. I think both of these queens misunderstood the assignment, neither dressing in a stitch of beige, but I guess that’s how they do things down in the TL. Work.
Lil Miss Hot Mess sang “Little Boxes,” painting brightly colored paper houses with beige paint. I thought the song choice was perfect for her. The number was cute, especially when she gave up painting and just started squirting paint all over the houses.
I can’t even remember what Dam Dyke did or sang cuz I was so intrigued by her beige outfit and cup of beige coffee. It struck me as funny that coffee is beige, too. Everything was the same shade of beige. You know beige beige. And I’m hella jel over those shimmery Hollywood Montrose shades!
Miss Nix, seeming to serenade DJ Dirty Knees throughout her performance, worked the golden beige.
Anna Warhola busted out the baseball bat and whip after Downey snatched her wig off her head. She cracked the whip a few times, freaking me out as usual. My brother whipped me in the face with a rubber snake when I was a kid; I have latent trauma. I love the outtie!
Liza with a P, who stole the show for Liz Taylor Night, dazzled audiences in a two-tone beige dress. Her dancing and mugging made for a great performance.
Glamamore brought the Morrissey (can you say ba-eige?), being boring throughout the entire song with boots up on VivvyAnne Forevermore’s hips. Their exchanges were hilarious. Hold my drink! Fierce.
Little Opalteen strutted her stuff next, giving great drag face. She dubbed in farts over the delightful soundtrack, hovering over a small fan each time which blew her skirt up. Classy.
Finally, Karen Kills blew the stage up with Coco Puffs and a half gallon of milk which she had dumped over her body. This to screams of “I’m lactose intolerant!” from an audience member. The best part was that Karen’s outfit absorbed a lot of the milk which occasionally dripped from her titty like a lactating breast. I was deeply amused.
And let’s not forget Marcy Playground’s “performance” at the foot of the stage. Beigelessness.
Beige, taupe, tan, khaki and camel. So many varieties of boring to exploit. Overall I think these folks did a great job handling the beige challenge. I’m curious as to what color Anna will choose next year. I’m a fan of chartreuse myself.



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