Posts tagged Dam Dyke

Beige. Zzzzzzzzzz… Oh, sorry, but come on, BEIGE?! What kind of theme is this?!?! And how the fuck is it supposed to work? Beige reminds me of the late 70′s, very early 80′s when I was wearing plaid bell bottoms and my folks were choosing horrid beige wallpaper for the bathroom and beige furniture for the living room. My dad even bought a champaign colored (beige) Chevy Cavalier to match his fabulous beige Members Only jacket. I grew up with beige and thought that I left it behind when I moved to San Francisco. But it found me.

Anna Conda served up a delicious slice of taupeness, hosting the show in a glamorously snoozy polyester pant suit that just screamed key party.

Her performance was a bit less subdued, featuring a tan trench over a beige body suit sporting a giant dirty blonde patch of crotch bush that could be seen from space. Hilare! And gross.

More queens turned out to perform on Beige Night than on Impostors Night the week before… almost twice as many! And with a theme like beige, you really have to bring it to make it interesting.

VivvyAnne Forevermore powdered her face red and blue, striking it with a magic marker, creating long bottom lashes. Hmmm… this seems familiar. Is that Hoku Mama Swamp?! Vivs was cleverly plugging Tiara Sensation’s Hoku’s Drag Race Night, encouraging people to VOTE HOKU! Well I say VOTE SWAMP!

Eli poses with Hoku before the show…

Viv’s marker got a lot of attention throughout the show…

The show continued with two fabulous ladies visiting us from Aunt Charlie’s in the Tenderloin. Bonnie Sawyer, missing teeth and all, snapped up dollar bills, singing a twangy country number. Donna Personna ripped up with stage to La Bouche’s “Be My Lover.” After the show I told her that that song took me back… to 1994! Good times. I think both of these queens misunderstood the assignment, neither dressing in a stitch of beige, but I guess that’s how they do things down in the TL. Work.

Lil Miss Hot Mess sang “Little Boxes,” painting brightly colored paper houses with beige paint. I thought the song choice was perfect for her. The number was cute, especially when she gave up painting and just started squirting paint all over the houses.

I can’t even remember what Dam Dyke did or sang cuz I was so intrigued by her beige outfit and cup of beige coffee. It struck me as funny that coffee is beige, too. Everything was the same shade of beige. You know beige beige. And I’m hella jel over those shimmery Hollywood Montrose shades!

Miss Nix, seeming to serenade DJ Dirty Knees throughout her performance, worked the golden beige.

Anna Warhola busted out the baseball bat and whip after Downey snatched her wig off her head. She cracked the whip a few times, freaking me out as usual. My brother whipped me in the face with a rubber snake when I was a kid; I have latent trauma. I love the outtie!

Liza with a P, who stole the show for Liz Taylor Night, dazzled audiences in a two-tone beige dress. Her dancing and mugging made for a great performance.

Glamamore brought the Morrissey (can you say ba-eige?), being boring throughout the entire song with boots up on VivvyAnne Forevermore’s hips. Their exchanges were hilarious. Hold my drink! Fierce.

Little Opalteen strutted her stuff next, giving great drag face. She dubbed in farts over the delightful soundtrack, hovering over a small fan each time which blew her skirt up. Classy.

Finally, Karen Kills blew the stage up with Coco Puffs and a half gallon of milk which she had dumped over her body. This to screams of “I’m lactose intolerant!” from an audience member. The best part was that Karen’s outfit absorbed a lot of the milk which occasionally dripped from her titty like a lactating breast. I was deeply amused.

And let’s not forget Marcy Playground’s “performance” at the foot of the stage. Beigelessness.

Beige, taupe, tan, khaki and camel. So many varieties of boring to exploit. Overall I think these folks did a great job handling the beige challenge. I’m curious as to what color Anna will choose next year. I’m a fan of chartreuse myself.